I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
