we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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