I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
