Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
