Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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