she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
