My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize