Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
