I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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