Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
