it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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