So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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