Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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