We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize