Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
my poor anus
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
