white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
