At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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