Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Girls should come with a carfax report
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize