he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
