I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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