I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
