Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
