Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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