so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize