You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
