U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
