Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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