No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
