dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
