The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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