Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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