He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
