Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
