But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize