I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize