Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
