in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
