oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
