i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Randomize
