Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
