laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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