Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
