The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
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