Well douche your snatch and let's go!
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
