yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I need a beard to bite.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
