yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
