you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
