Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
