Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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