absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
