I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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