her vagine was all disorganized.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
