on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
