Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize