she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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