You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
