You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
