Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
