It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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