were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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