my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
