Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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