i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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