dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
