If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
