I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
